Looking for that motivation..
It’s now almost 3 in the morning as I type this with Drake’s new album slowly seeping into my ear drums and taking over my emotions. It’s early February and I’m losing my motivation with school…already. It’s awful and I know it is but I can’t help but think, wow, I’ve been going to college non stop since I graduated high school and I still don’t have a degree.
It’s burning me out, I find myself fading away from focusing on the work that screams for my attention but my mind throws it aside for car mods, photography tips and other dreams I have. Maybe I’m in the wrong place..and I mean school wise. Everything is fucking amazing. I have 2 jobs, steady income, a beautiful girlfriend, and friends that I can count on. So, maybe I need to move into something automotive, or photography or something that I find myself looking up for hours on end instead of focusing on schoolwork. I try to pay attention but feel like I can’t grasp onto the material that is being taught. I’m repeating calculus which is frustrating, and taking Spanish to finish my degree but according to Mercer’s website, I would be done with just calculus.
I’m 22 years old about to be 23 and have noooooooooooooooo idea where I want to go in life. They ask people, where do you see yourself in 5 years? Should start with asking; do you even know where you’ll be in a year?
I love the tracks Drake has, the beats are mellow, the raps are straight and solid and the words are heard well. Anyway, I think the non stop school has my mind racing and basically worn out. I want to move on, move out and on with my life and start the main leg. You know the one full of responsibilities that will try to frustrate me and test my hurdling skills, metaphorically of course, I’m still about half inch from dunking a basketball.
My motivation for money is through the roof, my motivation on improving myself is right there as well, my motivation to make my relationship with Raquel is creeping up behind them, this girl is special and makes me real happy. But my motivation for school is shit right now, maybe it’s just the half ass responses I get from the school. I’m going to sit here and hope these slow paces hip hop songs restore some calmness within me and I can somehow find that motivation again that has somehow against my mind.
I want it back, I want to move forward.
